Little Almond

I think sometimes when you squint your eyes, you see better, see farther, see sharper. SOme people always have squinted eyes, like little almonds. They must see pretty well indeed!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

petite fleur,
à cette heure
montre moi ton vigeur


photo par Cindy Ortega


Ironiquement, c'est le pire qui donne ouverture au meilleur, la mort et la fin qui libèrent des esprits et mettent halte à la peine et la souffrance. Quand ma soeur est glissée à une paix éternelle, c'était aussi la fin de sa souffrance, et de la nôtre aussi.

On l'a donc envoyée aux portails du ciel dans un chariot de blanc metallique (donc pas de crémation), qui préserve le corps au moins 50ans! mais qui fait difficile le transfert des osses pour compacter les interrés pour respecter l'économie de cimitière! C'est à dire on devrait attendre plus d'années afin de recreuser et faire ce transfert!!

Son lit éternel était dressé en rose avec des fleurs blanches. Elle est habillée dans une robe longue de husi (tissu fin natif) avec une voile blanche espagnole; scapulaire de St Francis autour de la colle --sureté pour arriver au ciel; rosaire de bois dans les mains, photo de St Thérèse de Liseiux à coté, et son motto: petite fleur, à cette heure, montre moi ton vigeur.

On a jeté des roses dans son tombeau et de la terre sur le sarcophagus extérieur qui était de ciment. Le pire c'est d'entendre dans le silence de prières, le 'krik krik' des cables qui faisaient déscendre le tout 2 metres dessous. Elle était mise à coté de son père et mère.

Il y avait un novena de prières à l'église de Carmel à Bulacan site de plusieurs miracles et des fleurs qui montrent les visages des saints.

Maintenant on tourne vers ses deux enfants, Chinchin et Noni.

RIP le 12 janvier 2007

Monday, January 15, 2007

How Chin-Chin survived an inferno part 2
By Angela Blardony Ureta
The Philippine Star 02/01/2007

photo by C. Arnaldo

In the last seven days since the tragedy, friends in media have graciously respected Chin-Chin’s request for privacy and for this we are truly grateful. Aside from the excruciating physical pain caused by her burn injuries, there are also the emotional and psychological debris left by the life-threatening experience. Evenings are particularly bad for Chin-Chin as she continues to have nightmares repeating scenes from the fire. Her heart jumps with every sudden sound. Some nights, she would cry herself to sleep, missing and worrying about her mother. Although she could not visit the ICU, she constantly monitors Mama Cecile’s condition through the nurses and doctors that attend to her and remains thoroughly informed about her situation.

The few times she had been able to see some footage of her burning house on TV, Chin-Chin’s eyes never showed bitterness or regret. She is profoundly sad at the loss of her family archives and personal mementos, yet she is certain that God has a divine plan for her life and willingly submits herself to its unfolding. She also commiserates with the many families who have lost their homes (and for some, even their loved ones) in the many fire incidents that plagued the country that same week.


When asked about the heroic feat of saving her ailing mother from the burning house, Chin-Chin insists it was a spontaneous act of filial love. "There was no question about it," she recalls. "The moment I opened my eyes and saw tongues of flames, my only goal was to get Mama out of the house. It was so clear. I didn’t really care about anything else. I wasn’t even thinking of anything else. I didn’t really care much about the material things that got burned. All I could think about was protecting my mother."

The series of reports that came shortly after the incident hailed Chin-Chin as a hero, having risked her own life to rescue her ailing mother. Most of her close friends know, however, that the last three years had already been no less heroic for her, as her mother’s physical condition continued to deteriorate and required more expensive medical procedures. Yet, despite the odds, she maintained sobriety and cheerfulness through the ordeals of her personal life.

Sometimes people think that just because they see Chin-Chin playing a glamorous role on TV, then her life is spared from day-to-day trials. That is certainly not true. It has been very difficult for her since her mother fell gravely ill, but she has chosen to suffer everything in silence and continue to joyfully provide for all her mother’s needs, sometimes even when she had to forego her own. Her time was divided between tapings and personal caregiving for her mom, interrupted only by advocacy work. It was not the typical lifestyle of a single, independent and successful woman – a Time Magazine Asian Hero at that – yet she never considered it a sacrifice.

"Nothing is a burden if it is done out of love," she would always say, especially when friends began to worry about her well-being. "For as long as Mama is conscious, then I will do everything in my capacity to support her in her life’s journey, according to God’s will for us."

It has been seven days since the incident as I write this. Asked what message she had for readers who have followed reports of her ordeal, Chin-Chin had only this to say: "Tell them to never lose their faith, even in life’s darkest hours. The flames of desperation can be mesmerizing; at one point you are just tempted to leave everything behind and succumb to the fire. But there is that little voice inside your head, no – inside your heart – that tells you to get up and find a safe place. It tells you never to give up because this is not about you, it’s bigger than you. God is the prime mover here, we’re only co-fulfilling. And when you find that you’ve lost everything you’ve grown accustomed to in life, you fully realize what life is not. Given a chance to move forward and start anew, always keep sight of God’s plan for you. And never allow anything or anyone to take away your joy!"

The words of the Magnificat are constantly on her lips: "The Lord has done great things for me and holy is His name." Chin-Chin Gutierrez is a genuinely beautiful human being and our lives are blessed by knowing her.

How Chin-Chin survived an inferno part 1
By Angela Blardony Ureta
The Philippine Star 01/01/2007

photo by Martin Arnaldo




From between her cracked and blistered lips, a faint yet courageous voice rang inside the hospital room: "Ang puso ko’y nagpupuri sa Panginoon/ Ang diwa ko’y nagagalak sa aking tagapagligtas…" It was close to midnight on Dec. 24 and at a very intimate Christmas Mass celebrated by her bedside, Chin-Chin Gutierrez offered a hymn to the Christ Child, the same canticle sung by Mary of Nazareth after she submitted herself to the will of God. Around her, the small gathering composed of a young Carmelite friar, her uncle Choy Arnaldo, her cousin Martin, and this writer marveled tearfully as this brave young woman gathered all her strength to thank the Lord for all the great things He has done for her – only days after surviving a devastating fire that consumed all her worldly possessions and seriously threatened her own life.

A little after 3 a.m. on Dec. 20, the Gutierrez household woke up to flames that rapidly spread all over their house in Loyola Heights, QC. It was the only home Chin-Chin ever knew. Her grandfather, Solomon Arnaldo, purchased the house in the ‘60s after retiring from his post with the UNESCO. At the time, his only daughter Cecilia (who was to become Chin-Chin’s mother) was a young nun with the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary. A decade later, Cecilia left the convent following a serious injury, returned to her father’s house and eventually married botanist Hermes Gutierrez. It was that same home that lovingly welcomed Cecilia’s first baby, Carminia, a beautiful child who became the apple of her widowed grandmother’s eyes. The delighted family fondly called their newborn "Chin-Chin," an Italian toast that means "cheers to life."

Chin-Chin lived all her life in that spacious house, surrounded by a garden of thick foliage and a serenity broken only by the music from grandmother’s piano. Even after making her own money as a sought-after advertising model and film actress, it never occurred to her to leave the nest she shared with the two most important women in her life – her Lola Nena and Mama Cecilia. In 2001, the matriarch Constancia Arnaldo died peacefully in Chin-Chin’s arms in that very same house, which her granddaughter lovingly maintained through the years as a shrine to her ancestry.

It wasn’t even daybreak when the fire started. Chin was the first to be roused from sleep after hearing noise coming from the vacant room across hers on the second floor. When she opened her bedroom door, she was greeted with fire rapidly eating up the walls and ceiling, spreading fast to the stairs. Instantly, she thought about her sick mother sleeping peacefully downstairs with an oxygen tank. Finding that the stairs were on fire, she did not hesitate to jump from the banister to get to her mom as soon as she could. She crushed her left heel and hurt her lower back but she did not feel the pain just then.

Hurriedly waking up their three helpers, they tried to salvage what they could of the burning house but their pails and hoses were no match with the monstrous flames that had entirely eaten up one side of the house. She then instructed them to drop everything and help her carry her mother out. The doorways were already blocked with flames so they broke the sliding door leading to the patio, with Chin-Chin using her bare hands to push away the many fallen pieces of wood and metal barring their way, shielding her mom with her own body. She safely steered even the panicking maids out of the house and was the only one among the five members of the household to sustain serious burn injuries.

When they got into the street, musicians from the nearby Circus Studio heard their pleas for help and drove them to the hospital. By that time it was too late to save anything. They escaped death with only the clothes on their backs.

In less than two hours, nothing remained of Chin-Chin’s material past. The house was razed entirely to the ground. Even the two vehicles in the garage were burned beyond repair. By daylight, only the trees in the garden remained, standing slightly bowed like lonely sentinels grieving over the loss of all that is familiar to them. And perhaps, weeping at the fate of the veritable diwata who has cared for them with sincere affection over the years. Whether in malice or ignorance, people have whispered about Chin-Chin "talking" to trees. After the tragedy, the fact that the trees were left unscathed – and therefore effectively containing the flames from reaching the neighbors – bore silent testimony that they made sure to be there when she returns.

Looking back, it was a virtual nightmare. I remember receiving a hysterical call from Chin-Chin’s personal assistant, Lanie, informing me that their house was on fire and that the Gutierrez mother and daughter were rushed to a nearby hospital for burn wounds. At first, I thought it was a bad dream. Realizing that it wasn’t, I rushed to the emergency room of Medical City in Ortigas to find Chin being treated for second degree burns in various parts of her body, while Tita Cecile was sent directly to the intensive care unit.

When I first saw Chin, it was as though she was being crucified. Blood gushed from the palms of her outstretched hands as doctors hurriedly cleaned and dressed the second-degree burns that scorched her from her fingertips to her wrists. The soles of her feet were also bleeding from multiple blisters after having run barefoot to the streets. Her left heel was bruised and swollen from jumping over the banisters of the second floor (where her room was) to get to her bedridden mother sleeping at the ground floor. (There were two oxygen tanks in her mom’s room and Chin was especially concerned that the heat might cause them to explode.) Her lips were bleeding too, cracked by painful blisters that also scorched her nose, chin and cheekbones. Her hair was singed at the edges. I could still remember the smell of burning hair that permeated the room; in fact, I could still hear the sizzle from the still burning strands which the nurses doused with a damp washcloth. Through her tears and the gut-wrenching pain in her burning skin, Chin-Chin managed to smile weakly at me.

"I’m okay…" she whispered. "Si Mommy nasa ICU. Puntahan mo naman please." I went and checked with the attending physicians: her mother’s vital signs were dropping rapidly. The deep bedsores from being bedridden for two years also ran the risk of infection. The open tubes in her body for feeding and dialysis had to be cleaned right away as they were clogged with soot, while her lungs were monitored for smoke inhalation.

"I love you Mommy, be strong"

I caught up with Chin as she was being wheeled out of the X-Ray room. By this time, the news had hit the early morning TV and radio programs and my mobile phone began to ring incessantly with calls and text messages from family, friends and colleagues in media.

Meanwhile, informed that her mother’s heart rate was dropping, Chin-Chin insisted on having her stretcher wheeled to where her mother was. Tita Cecile’s eyes were open but stared blankly at the ceiling. Her limp body was attached to several machines to keep her organs functioning. She could not move her head and could not see her daughter lying in the bed next to her. With all her remaining strength, Chin-Chin called out to her mother: "Ma, I’m here… I’m right beside you Mommy. We’re in the same boat now. But we’re alive. Be strong Mommy. I love you! I love you…"

Within minutes, Chin was brought up to her own room while her mother was moved to the ICU in the hospital’s main building. They have not seen each other since. Even after she was already able to sit up, doctors have prevented Chin-Chin from venturing out of her room, as her open wounds were very susceptible to infection. Their only form of communication to date is through the messages Chin-Chin recorded on tape, which would then be played to her mother, who shed copious tears yet was unable to utter a single word. Suffering from kidney failure due to diabetes, this year alone saw Tita Cecile in the ICU no less than three times, the last one being less than a month before the fire. She also had a minor operation just 12 days prior to the tragedy. But whatever pain, confusion or desperation welled inside her remained locked up in silence because she has not been able to speak clearly for months.

Little Flower
in this hour,
Show thy power

photo by Martin Arnaldo





Tita Cecile passed away last Friday at 11:56 PM from cardiac arrest. She was in the presence of her family and friends. The situation was intense, perhaps because of the hospital environment with all the sounds beeping and the machinery keeping her vital organs alive, but she transited in a peaceful way. Some of you got the text that she passed away a bit after 11 PM. That is the moment her heart stopped, around 11:20. But actual brain activity ceased at 11:56.

After her last rites were given, her loved ones were able to say their last words to her. Over the speaker phone she also heard her husband, Hermes, whom she hadn't seen in over 20 years, and Noni, her son who is the US. Noni cannot get back right away because he is still waiting for his US passport. He was just awarded US citizenship in October after two years of affidavits and papers and inauests. If he leaves without the new US passport, he will lose his US citizenship. He was encouraged by the family to wait for his passport before coming back to the Philippines.

The wake is at Arlington funeral homes on Araneta avenue. The funeral mass will be held on Wednesday at 8 AM. The burial is at 10AM at Loyola Memorial Park in Barangka, Marikina.

This is both a loss and a relief. It is a loss because a loved one passed away, but it is also a relief because of the pain she endured for the last five years is now over.

All the best,

Martin